E THEME BY EXCOLO
index message history RSS random theme
Alex, 22. Blogging from the Boston area.

I like all the things! I am in half a million fandoms, I like to write, I like to play video games, I like to talk about things that are serious and I really like to talk about things that aren't. I have a lot of opinions on media and narrative and am generally full of feels.

Currently Watching:

Currently Playing
Thief

Currently Reading:
The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch

I am lady Dean Winchester.

I watch Third Star too much.



***2012 & 2013 Nanowrimo winner****
next »
N
Anonymous said: Are you doing okay? I thought you posted something last night about suicidal thoughts but I can't find the post now.

Yeah there were a few posts and some conversation last night but I deleted them on my way to work this morning. I didn’t know how today was going to go and I didn’t want to come home and be overwhelmed with it.

I’m…no. But don’t worry too much. 

If you want to help, and I’m following you, can you just make sure you’re tagging your Game of Thrones? I really don’t want to talk about it at all. Or think about it, or look at it. That would be a big help.

N
Anonymous said: what are your goals?

…hi there. Are we just asking random questions?

Ummmm…hm. I have a lot of goals. I would like to publish a book someday, but it’s not something I’m working hard towards right now. I write on a regular basis but more to keep the muscles loose at this point. I haven’t been working on a cohesive story for a few months now. I will at some point start doing that again. Perhaps soon.

A lot of my short term goals right now involve making money. Partly because I like things like clothes and makeup and books and video games and getting take out, and those things are expensive, but also because I would like to get to a point where I have a comfortable amount of money in my savings account, because I think that will be helpful to things in the future.

I also toss the idea back and forth of going back to school and at least getting my associates degree, since I already have a decent amount of credits, but that would involve getting some things like my anxiety under control far better than I have it now, and I think that may be more of a process than I am open to at this stage, if I’m honest.

Also you know, just being a decently happy human being. That’s a goal. That can be attained. Perhaps.

Enough of my life has been taking what comes at me and working with it, that I have learned I like my options staying fairly open. And that’s about where I am right now. Lots of open options and a fair amount of uncertainty about what comes next. But not in a bad way.

Hope that was a good enough answer >.>

Edit: See all the marvel movies. Fill the rest of my natural born life with every new installment in the franchise. Keep up with the comicverse even if I don’t read it all. Stay immersed in Marvel because it is almost certainly going to outlive me.

N
Anonymous said: The thing about 19 years later for is the fact I can still reread whole HP series. Epilogue doesn't take from its message, but I won't be able to watch himym again, because of this shitty ending

That’s legit. I don’t blame you for that at all. It will definitely color my view of the show if I watch it again which really sucks, it has tainted the flavor quite a bit. But I’m gonna do my best to live in a deep seeded denial and see if I can just push this garbage out of my head.

We’ll see what the success rate of that ends up being.

N
Anonymous said: I didn't know you liked Gurren Lagann!

imageI know there was literally zero evidence of this fact

N
Anonymous said: aren't you discriminating against people based on their gender if you respond to them differently based on their gender? that's shallow isn't it?

N-no?

I am literally just talking about being attracted to a person. Like the way my body responds and the way chemicals are released in my brain. I’m not determining their worth as a human being, I’m not even determining whether I’d have a successful relationship with them because I’m not taking that possibility out of the equation.

Gay men are not discriminating against women by not wanting to bang them it’s the same kind of thing just on a different spectrum.

I just - what? If that makes me shallow I can live with that I guess?

N
Anonymous said: Why do you prefer the term bisexual? Isn't it super binary?

No, it’s not.

Pansexual has always been explained to me. by people who identify as pansexual. as being attracted to people based on who they are as people, and that their gender doesn’t play into that at all. 

Gender does play into my attraction to people. I am not only attracted to binary genders, but I am attracted to male presenting people and female presenting people differently. I react to them differently, I flirt with them differently, my relationships with them are different. No gender is better or worse, but the dynamics are so distinct I would be lying to say that gender doesn’t matter.

That is not to say I wouldn’t date an androgynous person, or a trans person. I have dated people on different points in the gender spectrum, and would date people on many more. But bisexual feels like an honest label to me, and it always has. It’s how I’m comfortable identifying.

N
qwopisinthemailbox said: 19

19.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

I think I would just cut the wire.

I mean really see no reason I can’t save both of them. The newborn won’t weigh very much. Even if I toss it over my shoulder or something, it might get hurt but it will have a better chance than if it falls off a cliff. And then I have two whole hands to pull my grandmother up with. Everyone wins.

If I have to choose, the newborn can fall. My people come first. Always.

N
Anonymous said: 2 6 9 12 17 20 23 :)

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

Similar to the last ask, when they told me my hours were getting cut at work. Hours are getting cut in response to the Affordable Care Act and there is nothing me, my manager, or HR can do about it. Yes, I am still pissed. I am still very very pissed.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?

Well if I was in a job where I was being irresponsible often enough that it was that big an issue, the job wouldn’t be super high priority to me. That’s not a sweeping statement about punctuality or habits and priorities, just me personally. Also if my boss was that big a dick I’d probably be better off without them. And you count in factors such as adrenaline and crisis response…yeah I’d probably stop.

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?

I wasn’t that close to the last person I know who died. The last person I was close to…also probably not. She died peacefully in her sleep, that’s for the best.

12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?

No. That is a fair way to make that decision, and I have to support myself too.

17 has been answered.

20. Are you old fashioned?

Nope.

23.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

I’d wish for financial security. Like money can’t buy happiness that’s all well and good, but if I were financially secure I’d have a lot more avenues open for me to pursue happiness down.

N
stiiles--stilinskii said: 1, 4, 7, 8, 17

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

The former. That latter I’m fine with. The former is like pulling teeth.

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

This is why I don’t go to the doctor unless there are bones sticking out of my skin or something.

7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

Love. My feelings shouldn’t dictate how other people behave. Me loving them has no reason to stop them from hurting me, and them hurting me won’t necessarily stop me from loving them. But trust is almost impossible to get back once it’s broken.

8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?

THIS HAPPENS TO ME WAY TOO OFTEN AND I TEND TO REACT TO IT VERY BADLY IF I’M PUT ON THE SPOT AND/OR DRUNK PLEASE TIME THESE INTERACTIONS IN A THOUGHTFUL MANNER.

17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?

Change my behavior? Probably nothing. Change the circumstances of the interaction? I really wish my hours weren’t getting cut at work.

N
Anonymous said: Do you equate being a feminist to being a SJW?

No. I also don’t equate being a social justice advocate with being a social justice warrior.

The term “warrior” is inherently aggressive to me, and in political, social, philosophical or theological discussions I don’t think aggression is helpful. I think it limits the opportunity for thoughtful discussion and debate. I also think that it has a tendency to isolate the people you are trying to get through to. I tend to think people who identify as “misandrists” edge on SJW territory, but the term “feminist” does not put me on edge nearly as quickly as the term “warrior” does.

Also I really need to point out that I’m generalizing here and I take all people on a case by case basis. I know a lot of people who identify as SJWs just because they’re passionate about what they’re talking about and that’s fine. People can identify how they want and I definitely endeavor to get to know people before I make sweeping judgements about them. Which is a bit contrary to my nature, I’m an ENFJ after all. But I try. 

All that said please don’t flood my ask with these questions. I don’t mind answering the one, but this is a sensitive issue that a lot of people have a lot of opinions about. I would rather not risk offending people I care about in an attempt to quantify and vocalize the kinds of behaviors that make me uncomfortable. 

If you have more questions and would like to talk to me off anon I’d be happy to answer them though <3<3<3